The softer side of things

Most people know me as “ the one that always has

something to say” and its true, I do. That’s the

advocate in me. When I’m passionate about

something you will know. When I was 11 we had an essay assignment where we had to write about a

cause we cared about. The other kids wrote about

things like recycling and saving the polar bears… I

wrote about the rising number of teen pregnancies

in my city. But that’s just one side of me, I have a

softer, more quiet, light hearted side and its not

something I often let people see so this part of the

shoot meant a lot to me. Basking in the sunlight

from the studio, surrounded by books. People were

always trying to get me to let my guard down and

express the softer side of myself but I resister it for

so long. I guess that was my armor. Then along

comes Andrea! She helped me see that soft doesn’t

mean weak and that’s its ok to let down my “hard" exterior ~ Alisha


I wanted to wear a suit you know, to my wedding but people told me I would regret not wearing the dress and my mother ended up buying me one, which is fine because I rocked the hell out of that dress with all these curves. I remember looking at Michael though and thinking “ damn I’d look good in that” lol. So the second I put the suit on for this shoot I felt so damn sexy. I was able to express myself freely in a way that I never

fully felt I could. I guess when I was younger I was

afraid if I dressed more masculine that people

would think I was “that way” and at that time I was really struggling with my sexuality. I tried very hard to hide suit defines your sexuality but my god does society ever have a way of gendering fashion. ~ Alisha


Growing up I heard a lot of terms

like “jezebel” and “slut” and it was oftentimes

directed at my promiscuous behavior….or the

outfits I chose or the makeup I wore. I remember

one time I came home and told my parents I

wanted to join cheerleading. My father was pissed!

He said something along the lines of “ cheerleading

is for sluts look at those skirts”. I really liked the

skirts so my nine year old self thought “ well I must

be a slut then”. When you're told something enough times you’ll start to believe it good or bad. It should’ve came as no surprise that

I ended up in the sex industry. That was my way of

owning and controlling my identity. Eventually it

became obvious that my sexuality bothered people

so I made myself smaller. I became what I assumed

was the opposite of a jezebel : get married,

become a housewife, not too much makeup, keep

your thoughts to yourself. It took a long time for me to realize that I didn’t have to be one or the other and that expressing my sexual side is perfectly

natural, in fact its my birthright. ~ Alisha